Today was my birthday … It’s been a loooong week, with stress and heartache and me wondering why all this must be. I don’t question God when my tender heart’s wounds are opened and splayed wide by circumstances and by the people I love and then must forgive. I don’t blame God, I tend to blame the one’s I love, who don’t seem to love me back … I don’t know why … and that question will go unanswered, because it’s not that they don’t love … it’s that it isn’t the love I long for. Selfish … maybe … it’s complicated and has left many a tender spot in need of healing.
It always surprises me the depth of healing this heart of mine needs.
Then I remember … they love as best they can in the darkness … and I live in the light, the light of God’s deep and enduring love for me … for ME … and then I remember to pray, first that the tenderness of my wounds would cause me to pray for those I love … who love differently than I … and I pray for forgiveness for my selfish need for this love …
Psalm 25:5-7
5 Guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my Savior, and my hope is in you all day long. 6 Remember, LORD, your tender mercy and love, for they are from of old. 7 Do not remember the sins of my youth and my rebellious ways; according to your love remember me, for you, LORD, are good.
Then … just as I begin to live I’ve done it finally … pushed Him to turn from my sinful nature He, my God, comes along side me and envelopes me in His presence and I realize the tenderness of this heart … is His reminder that I am weak without Him, and that the wounds remind me, though He’d rather I didn’t have them, to press into Him …
So I will remain tender of heart … and I will learn to use this tenderness to press into the light more and shine forth brighter for those that I love that still gravitate to the light …
Join us over at The Gypsy Mama, where we write, unscripted, unedited, for 5-minutes, each week! This weeks prompt is “Tender” … how does your heart interperet it?Blessings Loves!https://seg.sharethis.com/getSegment.php?purl=https%3A%2F%2Fhopeannfaith.wordpress.com%2Fwp-admin%2Fpost-new.php&jsref=&rnd=1327728401385
JoHanna
January 28, 2012 at 2:15 am
First Happy Birthday!!! I can really relate to what you wrote about wounds being splayed open. Some days I say to myself – I am just an open wound walking around. Vulnerable. Thanks so much for sharing this with such openness.
Lisa Maria
January 28, 2012 at 8:27 am
Beautiful Andrea! Happy Belated Birthday…I hope your evening was lovely and made up for the week! Wounded tender hearts…yes I know about those! It makes you want to curl up into a tight ball and not be tender anymore yes? Ah, but you are so right, Jesus’ tender heart has sufficient love to rejuvenate us and put us back out there with tenderized hearts to keep on loving.
Have a wonderful weekend!