‘The LORD said, “Go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the LORD, for the LORD is about to pass by.” Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the LORD, but the LORD was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the LORD was not in the earthquake.”‘ 1 Kings 19:11
This was so apropos for the last week here on the Jersey Shore and all of the Eastern Seaboard; but in reverse. As you know we had the earthquake before the Irene’s winds ripped up the coastline!
Those who have suffered loss of loved ones and property may be thinking, “what is God doing?!” ”Why is God doing this?!’
Well I am here to testify that God was not in the shaking, nor was He in the winds; and prayer prevailed through this storm!
Multitudes of people began praying before Hurricane Irene started her trek up the Eastern Seaboard. We prayed her weakened and out to sea. We prayed that there would be no harm to person or property … we prayed God’s sovereign protection. We PRAYED!
The overwhelming prayer for me, and I saw for others, on various social networking sites, was from the Book of Mark chapter 4:
37 And a great windstorm arose, and the waves beat into the boat, so that it was already filling. 38 But He was in the stern, asleep on a pillow. And they awoke Him and said to Him, “Teacher, do You not care that we are perishing?” 39 Then He arose and rebuked the wind, and said to the sea, “Peace, be still!” And the wind ceased and there was a great calm.
Many quoted and prayed this before and throughout the hurricane; I know I did. Funny how God has people all over doing the same thing everywhere, isn’t it? Our pastor, my husband and I were discussing this just last Wednesday.
Did God know these possibly catastrophic events were going to occur? Yes, God knows the end from the beginning! However …
He moved His hand of protection before anything began to shake or the breezes whipped into winds! He set His people to prayer … and He set them to praying exactly His word, simultaneously!
Amazing … here we see Romans 8:28 in action! “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”
Many were called to His purpose … many obeyed and in all the events of the week God worked for the good of those who loved Him!
Jesus said: If you love me you will obey the commands I have given you this day. John 14:15
And I have been blessed to see the Mighty hand of God in these things! Prayer and obedience work!
The proof is in the after storm cleanup and the joyous affirmations we give one another that we not only survived the earthquakes and storms, but that we weathered the storms with little discomfort … no loss and no harm!
I can honestly say I have a completely different view on the power of prayer today … one I didn’t have just two days ago. Oh I knew it worked, without a doubt.
Yet, I had not seen so clearly God’s love and hand as I have these last three days! I know now if I obey the call of the day and I pray in preparation and continually in my day to day I will know the tangible presence of the LORD in my life, in my home EVERYDAY!
I feel I have been awakened! I feel more alive!
I FEEL SAVED! I KNOW SALVATION AND LOVE!
So today when I see over and over again the scripture I began with 1 Kings 19:11 I know that there is a calling here. That this scripture is telling us this …
God did not cause the shaking or the wind or the rain … He was NOT in them or their wrath … but listen, if you will … LISTEN …
12 and after the earthquake a fire, but the LORD was not in the fire; and after the fire a still small voice … 18 Yet I have reserved seven thousand in Israel, all whose knees have not bowed to Baal, and every mouth that has not kissed him.” 1 Kings 19:12&18
God IS in that still small voice, the one our fear of shaking, winds and rain sometimes drown out … but if we listen …
”if my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and will heal their land.” 2 Chronicles 7:14
I believe we did this successfully … I believe if we pray the scripture given today 1 Kings 19: 11-12 and believe that God is NOT in the troubles of our lives but in the solution; then I believe we will all come into the next level of intimacy with God the Father, our proven protector and provider!
We all weathered the storms this week, by perseverance and obedience in prayer and the Grace of God!
I would be remiss in all of this if I did not say this:
By the Glory and Grace of God I have weathered this storm! I am grateful to my God, He is MY God, who called me to prayer … who brought me first to a place of obedience and who allowed me to know and see His Mighty Hand of protection and provision. Not only in my life and house; but in the lives of so many loved ones and acquaintances lives and homes through these storms! Bringing us to the blue skies of today …
So on Fridays, we take the dare to become Word Artists. To throw editing and proof reading and critically raised eyebrows out the window. We finger paint with our words – in pink and blue and dark purple. In glitter glue and bright green.
Just five minutes. No more. No less.
Come play word art with us, why don’t you. It’s easy. Lisa-Jo is over on (in) courage this morning with todays prompt.
1. Write for 5 minutes flat for pure unedited love of the written word on the prompt, “Still.”
2. Link back here and invite others to join in.
3. Get a little crazy with encouragement in the comments of the five minuter who linked up before you.
When you’re ready give us your best unedited, post on the prompt …
Which is easy in good times … and maybe even after the trials. But day to day I know that I forget to be still … I sometimes forget to be still.
“The Lord will fight for me and I will keep my peace.” Exodus 14:14
Sometimes I forget to be still in the fight of this life.
I love it when life is at ease and pleasant and still.
I remember wanting the time when the boys would talk and walk, thinking life would somehow become easier to decipher. I was alone with two of the greatest little guys on the planet! I wanted them to talk and be independent. And then somewhere in my singleparenthood I expected them to be more mature and independent…
I now wish I had been still … that time had been still…because it wasn’t and it isn’t and these guys are adults now and life is not easier.
There is a place I have found where I am still. In my spirit there is a meeting where I am able to stop time and recoup the day and seek solutions for the life that is doing everything but being still.
Prayer … Praise … Worship
God has guided me to prayer. I surrender in prayer … I commune with God where immediately waves of life, crashing around me are incapable of pulling me under and drowning out …
His STILL small voice. Under the wings of the Almighty where things are still and quiet and safe….
STOP!
Paddling to the Still
“Your innermost sense of self, of who you are, is inseparable from stillness. This is the I Am that is deeper than name and form.” Eckhart Tolle
Crash
“Uncontrolled, the hunger and thirst after God may become an obstacle, cutting off the soul from what it desires. If a man would travel far along the mystic road, he must learn to desire God intensely but in stillness, passively and yet with all his heart and mind and strength.”Aldous Huxley
Be(ing) Still
“Within you there is a stillness and a sanctuary to which you can retreat at any time and be yourself.” Hermann Hesse
Prayer
“Blessed are the single-hearted, for they shall enjoy much peace. If you refuse to be hurried and pressed, if you stay your soul on God, nothing can keep you from that clearness of spirit which is life and peace. In that stillness you will know what His will is.”Amy Carmichael
Mentions after the Five!
The surfer in these photos from last summer is one of my dearest friends,mentorm the assistant pastor of my church. and lead singer and leader of our Worship Band! She is the mother of 6 children and grandmother to 2 (yes, in these pics!). She is an incredible person and her ability to be STILL is amazing and I have spent the last 10 years aspiring and learning from this incredible lady. She has taught me so much about God and Prayer and Leadership and yes … STILLNESS. I love her deeply, much more than she knows, she sometimes takes me to God,when I can’t find Him, where He saves my life again.
These pics were taken on LBI in New Jersey … where I believe she is surfing at this very moment. She once told me the most beautiful experience she had with God was on the Atlantic Ocean …. much like you see in the first photo … and it began to rain. She said the music of the rain on the water was the most beautiful music and the most peaceful sensation she has ever enjoyed.
I try to imagine that … and my heart aches to know that kind of Stillness in God.
* quotes inserted after the five minutes…however they were found before the writing began.
HOPEannFAITH’s very first “Let My Words be Few” Thursday!
Please join us!
Leave me a link to your “Few Words” blog post; it can be about anything you want, but short and to the point!
I will link your post into my “Few Words” posts; and we can discuss and get to know one another.
I will get a Mr. Linksy thingy, to make joining us easier for you. I will then need to learn how to use it.
“Few Words” Thursdays is my attempt at concise and profound writing…where the content touches our Spirits and not just our minds and flesh. I hope this will improve my writing skill set while deepening my spiritual walk.
As I journey to Wholeness in 2011, I walk primarily with God and likeminded people. I want to live positively in an intentional manner.
I believe this is going to heal me physically, spiritually and mentally.
My word for 2011 is Wholeness…which I may have mentioned once or twice. I just ordered my necklace from Linda Leonard Designs. I feel this necklace is an integral part of my Wholeness experience. I don’t know why…but it feels significant.
In this journey to Wholeness I find myself GRATEFUL today. Follow the link to the Webster’s definition of grateful, which I feel is lacking~one day maybe I’ll post a rant about the desication of the English language. What I did find interesting was at the end of the definition it lead me to the definition of Grace; I’m going to research that some more…
I find gratitude to me, the concept of being grateful is a deep humbling thankfulness; one I feel primarily when I am intimate with God, alone. While there are several individuals I am truly grateful to and for, God is by far the person who brings me to humility more than anyone else. I believe that is the way it should be.
But I, with shouts of grateful praise, will sacrifice to you. What I have vowed I will make good. I will say, ‘Salvation comes from the LORD.’” Jonah 2:9
Even when we are thankful, feeling humbled in reference to another person or circumstance, it remains my deep belief that that occurs because God has improved us or something in us; repaired or cured something in us; that no mortal physician can. I believe that pure gratitude is divinely inspired.
There is so much I am grateful for…so in an effort to keep this already wordy post short here are but a few things on todays Gratitude list:
God revealed and repaired the physical disease of my heart (June 2010)
That He, therein, provided me a new life, a new energy, a new heart and total healing revelation – Ezekiel 36-26
First let me apologize for being a day late with this final update.
Life did what life does and I did not get a chance to post yesterday. Actually I had to work one of my usual days off…well…and I didn’t get to do what I wanted to do. So there it is…:)
I did well, I think and I spent this morning creating my Celebration Piece! Than I had to run errands and prepare for our bible study tonight…life doing what life does…Life is Good! ♥
What I have planned is to continue working on memorizing this Psalm…in my last update post I shined the light on Meagan, she continued after last year’s January MMM to continue on until her chosen scripture was an integral part of her spirit. I believe that to be the TRUE premise or precept of God, when He speaks of renewing our minds. I encourage you, once again to visit Stand and Consider, it is inspirational.
That renewal, or intimate knowledge, of even a piece of God’s Word, allows us to remain in Him; protecting us from the ways and precepts of this fallen and lost world we reside in. Meagan acheived that in the last calendar year!
I intend to be able to claim the same JOY come January 2012.
I find another joy in this scripture today, as I do each day. As I am writing this, I came to the knowledge that this precept of renewing our minds is in direct corralation to Psalm 91.
A precept, as you know, is a commandment or direction given as a rule of action or conduct, a procedural directive or rule.
Renewing our mind is one of the ways we “dwell in the secret place of the Most High”. Renewing the mind with and in the Word of God creates the “Shadow of the Almighty” under which we can then abide.
Staying in the Word is one vital way that creates that presence of the God, that we trust, creating in us a deep desire to Praise in the manner of Psalm 91:2
“I will say of the Lord, He is my refuge and my fortress; My God , in Him I will trust.” (NKJV)
This Psalm is a detailed description of God’s Love for us; a description of Our Secret Place in Him. God’s children can enjoy a deep abiding peace, even amidst the trial of life, when we cooperate with God and His divine strategies.
Like I said earlier, I think I did okay. Again, not great, but I am not disappointed like I was last year. Who could be disappointed when they are becoming intimate with Psalm 91 and the promises of God therein. Same rules apply from previous MMM Update Posts; RED for needing a prompt and STRIKEOUTS for things I simply got wrong:
Psalm 91 ~ The Promise of God’s Protection in All Areas of Life
Whoever lives under the shelter of the Most High will remain in the shadow of the Almighty.
I will say to the Lord, You are my refuge and my fortress, my God in whom I trust.
He is the one who will rescue from the hunters’ trap and from deadly plagues.
He will cover you with His feathers, and under His wings you will find refuge. His truth is your shield and armor.
You do not need to fear the terrors of the night, arrows that fly during the day,
Plagues that roam the dark, epidemics that strikes at noon.
They will not come near you, even though a thousand may fall dead beside you or ten thousand at your right side.
You only need to look with your eyes to see the punishment of wicked people.
You, O Lord, are my refuge!
You have made the Most High your home.
No harm will come to you. No sickness will come near your home.
He will put His angels in charge of you to protect you in all your ways.
The will carry you in their hands so that you never hit your foot on a rock.
You will step on lions and cobras. You will trample young lions and snakes.
Because you love me I will rescue you. I will protect you because you know My Name.
When you call to me, I will answer you. I will be with you when you are in trouble I will save you and honor you.
I will satisfy you with a long life. I will show you how I will save you.
~♥~
I’d like to add a small note here. The last three verses are my favorite, as I have stated before. I found it odd that I continue to forget particular words in these verses. As I was pondering this {I believe our ponderings, even the silent ones are like prayers} the Holy Spirit pointed something out to me. The Words I don’t remember HONOR, SATISFY and LONG LIFE, are key words. Is it that I have not yet been fully persuaded that God would fulfill these amazing things in MY life??? In my head I know that this Psalm is for everyone, me included, so what is blocking my ability to do follow the two most important precepts ? To believe and to Abide…
If that is true, focusing on Psalm 91 as my GO TO scripture for 2011 I believe, I KNOW, that I will conquer this lack of persuasion.
I entered a Dry Season, unknowingly,it crept up on me and seemingly, overnight I was dying…
Having survived this dry season; I want to say it was six months long. However, looking back, it was probably more like a year ago it began. That’s when I knew, being the secretary, that we were loosing our church, and likely with it our Pastors‘, to a new call of God on their lives. I was simply unaware I had entered a dry season, because I had never experienced a Dry Season, in my walk with God.
A year of building anger, sorrow and a deep sense of desolation and abandonment.
I look back from, feet firmly planted, what feels like well nourished land. I have landed on my spiritual feet, so to speak.
I look back.
What was the lesson there?
I look back at that parched and cracked place that was my heart. I believe that that is where the desert experience, or the dry seasons, occur – a place in the heart. I look back and I see the dry and cracked ground, the remenants of my “old” heart.
Then I think, I cringe, at the thought of having written the word Survived! As if some old wives are going to run in and jinx me! Ah, will the old man never leave this flesh?
Obviously I have survived to this place where I, again, feel comforted by my God. This peaceful solitary where I can audibly here my Father’s voice. Where the Word of God soaks in deeply, stirring the very Spirit of God, which is the essence of who I am. The Garden of Eden, where the Word is richly fed and cultivated. Sown into that Good Ground we hear about when we sit comfortably in our usual aisle seats on Sunday mornings.
Yet! I want, desperately to take back that word… survived!
The ‘what if’ in my flesh begins nagging, maybe I am not done, yet, in that desert place.
Distraction from the very thing God was teaching, preparing me for.
The lesson?
Survival?
I have honestly survived much in the short 40 something years of this life. Some things small; some so huge one must believe in miracles and a God who saves.
Literally SAVES, as in rescues.
The Desert!
Have I survived the desert? A dry, brutal place. Worse than any clinical depressive state I endured at the urging of heredity. Yes worse than that black swirling vortex of nothingness and depravation.
A Dry Season of the Spirit.
Because, as a Christian, I had only heard about being dry, because I had only those scriptures in Exodus and Ezekiel that told stories with illustrative analogies to go by, I didn’t realize what was happening. I didn’t recognize the slow progression of dehydration. I attributed the emotions to my heart event, the transition the church was going through and the unfamiliarity of the church we were becoming. I didn’t like the changes, I wasn’t comfortable with these new people, they didn’t know me, my family….
Dry Bones… Ezekiel was talking about, illustrating, the desert experience. I believe…
What was the lesson?
Mine, I believe….
”I believe, I believe…It’s silly but I believe”; I hear Natalie Wood‘s sweet voice, in A Miracle on 34th Street, repeat over and over again.
Matthew 18:3 And he said: “Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.
I believe…
My lesson; what I gleened, from my dry place was two fold.
Trust God with God’s things! Very important.
A change in Pastors.
A loss of my Spiritual Parent’s parenting (they are not lost, they are out on a different mission for the Kingdom.).
A church move and some of the Church Family moving on.
These are God things.
I, being His human daughter, thought I knew best what should be. I began demanding, of God, to know why, and bucking every change that occurred. Being me, I envisioned what we would transition into and it was not what God, or the new Pastor had planned.
And then the battle began. Long before I even knew I was in a battle.
Having been taught well, I knew the, “touch not My Anointed” deal. As the church secretary that was utmost. I was one of the layers that buffered the Pastors’ during the week and on Sunday morning. Making appointments instead of just allowing anyone with a gripe to infultrate that barrier.
But the new Pastor, he didn’t want this. The new Pastor had a new, his own, vision that God gave him. And I had the audacity to come home each day and speak what I thought about that!!!
I never considered that our Church had moved up a level. I never considered that the changes were from God. By the time this revelation came I could no longer feel anything spiritually! I had created my Desert Experience. I felt like I had a terminal illness and that God had left me. Note I said FELT. I knew He had not forsaken or left me….but I nolonger was enjoying His tangible presence.
Elvis God had left the building! My joy was gone…what was I going to do?
I was certain I would die.
The second thing I learned was that this Desert place was a place of preparation. I learned this as I was leaving the Saharah of my heart!
You see, God wanted, I believe, to see if I would remain in my place. If I would utilize that tremendous Faith He had instilled in me to trust Him with this, the most important transity life, thus far.Even my heart event, I believe, takes a second seat to the importance of this spiritual transition. In all of my angst, anger and sorrow, would I stay? Would I fulfill the station God had set me in. Would I man my post, in a time when I felt that everything was being taken from me? Just everything, every shread of our Church life was being uprooted, and things I didn’t realized had been lost in the move, including siblings in Christ, (they are not lost either, , they have moved on to what God has for them. All is well.).
Would I remain?
I didn’t know up to about a week or two ago. Talk about the fence, mine was disintegrating beneath me, like a raw wood slat rail that had weathered too many alternating seasons. My fence could no longer weather any storm. I was broken, dry, barren. I was the weary talked about in the bible.
I was also the picture of “Stand, and when you can no longer stand….Stand some more!” Unlike Moses, though, I didn’t have an Aaron and Hur to hold my arms up in praise of the LORD. My desert experiencewas a slitary thing, I didn’t feel comfortable burdening my friends with what I was going through, for several reasons. Still, somehow, crying and screaming I stood! Crying out and praying I managed to continued to praise, but it was all the more painful when the music didn’t get in…
This is how that felt…
Somehow I got the breakthrough.
How?
Many times a dry season is to push one to repentence.
I believe…
I believe mine was for me to give up, yet another family, to God, for God. Long story, being from a fractured family; fractured by mental illness, divorce, abuse of all kinds and then addictions, my family seems, feels, nust be gone, at a distance. A long distance. Therefore there was a sense of deep abandonment that resurfaced in this dry place. There is a reality of abandonment in my past, so I didn’t understand why it was, suddenly returning. The God I knew did not operate in this fashion!
I felt as if none of this was of God…for the longest time. I couldn’t see God in the changes, the transitions that were occurring in many areas of my life, simultaneously. Yet, I stood. I remained still, knowing God was God.
So I survived :/ …or was I victorious, or…
Have I been sent to the next level? Or all of the above?
I have to say, I don’t know. I’ve, through this dry experience, learned to leave God things to God.
That fact of the matter, to my joy, this heart is being soaked again. This heart and this spirit can hear my God again.
I believe I was being prepared for what God had prepared for me. I’m not sure what that is, but I have a hope. I know God planned for me to have a hope, prosper and nothing can harm me. That is as long as I be still and know that He is God. As long as I hold my post, as meanial and lowly as it feels. As long as I am obedient to the call that God has on my life.
I’m going to stay in Ephesus. Here is a great article, it was the first thing that spokecontaining the very quiestions I had been worrying like a bonebefore I saw the edge of the forest from the Sahara.
I read today a great post over at Sarah Markely’s blog: A Loose Grip: On Loosing a Home. I’ve lost my home, my first home…someday I’ll give my salvation testamony and you will understand better. I lost the Home God literally told me was mine: our Church.
Sarah talks about letting go of the things that we find vital in a home…
the laughter
the mural your son drew just about the toy box
the old comfortable chair…(on the aisle)
She described how we attach our emotions, our feelings, sometimes to inadament things…like the walls of the room where laughter reigned; as if somehow the sound of our joy was encapsulated in the paint and sheet rock, stored for eternity.
She revealed my horders heart, in her post, in her sweet by raw way. I love her unashamed honesty. Go here, read, and then love on her. She is irrestibly lovable.
I was hording memories…and as Steven Furtick said in this sermon: Get Back #1: You cannot build on yesterdays memories.
So, I am boxing up those memories. Storing away all the pictures of RLFC’s greatest times, to look at when I can handle them. And I am going to hold those things that I am having trouble giving up, loosely, so that when the time comes for them to be packed, or discarded or given to one who would benefit more from them, I will be able to let them go.
For now, I am grateful to my God, that I have come out of the dry season. I still have issues, but I am working those selfish things out with Him.
I am grateful to be out, and me again. Even if I am still, simply standing in the first shade of the lush copse of Cyprus; still within reach of that arid, cracked desert.
I see my Sahara, and like that depressive vortex of hell, I never want to return there.
So it is to the next thing I go.
To this new thing God is doing.
Expecting God to guide me.
Expecting the blessings that Father always gives His kids.
Because I believe…I believe…it is VERY important that I believe.
4 for everyone born of God overcomes the world. This is the victory that has overcome the world, even our faith. 5 Who is it that overcomes the world? Only the one who believes that Jesus is the Son of God.
6 This is the one who came by water and blood—Jesus Christ. He did not come by water only, but by water and blood. And it is the Spirit who testifies, because the Spirit is the truth.
Here are some Scriptures on Spiritual Dryness for reference:
I had every intention of beginning a Let My Words Be Few Thursdaystheme, here at HOPEannFAITH…
You know, a few profound lines of wisdom and encouragement, mixed well with Scripture. A determined effort to say the most, with the least words {not an easy task for this long-winded writer…}.
Alas, this post won’t fit in the “few words” category. It does, however, fulfill the profound, for me.
I’ll begin “Let My Words Be Few Thursday” next week, the first Thursday in February! I hope you will join me. Until then..
Fearfully and Wonderfully Made. Psalm 139
“You are the God Who sees me.” for she {Hagar} said, “I have now seen the ONE who sees me” Genesis 16:13
I find it comforting that I found a Genesis scripture right now, because 2011 is My Wholeness year, a new beginning!
It’s my 46th birthday. I got up this morning and one of my first thoughts, in the silence before the Men’s Club bustle began, was this: “They’re not going to call.”
Sadly, “they” are my parents.
There it was, once again, in my face, on my birthday! Like every year, for as long as I can remember. The first beat of this heart on “my” day, aching and sorrowful, to ruin my birthday. I was about to play the old “poor me” tapes….
NO! I stop myself. I’ve been working on this, with God, setting boundaries. The no longer enjoyed my permission to affect my heart, my spirit or my family. I had set this boundary, and to my amazement it was kicking in, today!
I determined I would not sit and wait and feel abandoned, yet again, for their phone calls.
The bustle of a morning with 5″ of wet snow began, and my men began preparing for their work day. My husband called from his place in front kitchen fire, “Happy Birthday, Beautiful”. My sweet man, I doubt my beauty even as he professes it, daily.
Coffee, key searches and Dachshund walks done and the last man, my eldest son { just 25 on Monday} leans over and kisses my cheek and leaves for work. A peaceful silence falls as that snowday sunlight; seemingly more shiny and more sparkly for its reflection off the snow crystals, shines through my thrift store lace curtains. I’m new to enjoying the silence and serenity of being alone.
Then the thought of my worthlessness, the ache for my parents to remember, care, love, creeps in, bringing Self-doubt with it. I push it away and open my e-mail. I go through the bevy of devotional and motivational blog e-mails I have signed up for and begin deleting the ones that don’t speak to me. This too is new to me, I promised myself that I would regulate myself to following just 3 blogs in 2011, because I had developed a guilt for deleting them. Yes, guilt, I felt guilty for not reading every inspirational woman’s post that I received! Maybe because I write and believe I owe them for their inspiration, or because I think someday I will need it. So I had to teach myself to delete the ones that God doesn’t speak through, to me, any given day!
As I read the title, I know God sent this post is for me, {Like I said, I read the ones that SPEAK to me.} through Suzanne, for my birthday!
Odd, right? Self-Doubt!
Not odd at all, this is the way of my quality time with Father God.
You see, when I got up every fiber of my flesh wanted a pity party on my birthday, like every year. I silently refused my flesh, sat down with my coffee and opened the e-mail devotion.
I think to myself, as I sip my hot, smooth Folgers, ‘How does she know? I mean she doesn’t know…ahhh, but God does, and He uses His Jesus Girls to feed and comfort and encourage each other! God is good that way.
In the post Suzanne says [my wording]:
Self doubt can confound and consume us, or it can be a path to honestly assessing why “doubt” is there and what can be done about it, with God.
It’s like Suzanne is reading my journal, I glance to my side and there it is…
I have been diligently working on what can be done, about many of life’s issues, with God. For a loooonnng time.
Then Suzanne opens my lunch box! She shares a childhood event of a friend, Lysa TerKeurst, that causes deep self-doubt and what it spun in her life.
‘Twirling’ for father’s approval, to no avail.
I had done the same exact thing!
I can see the event in my mind {until now it didn’t have the heading of event, now I knew that was precisely what it was.}. That day, that event, was the day my daddy scarred my ‘little girl’ spirit. ~ I was dancing and twirling for my father, in a homemade dress; my mother made our clothes then ( a throw back to the 50′s, she was!) and “when daddy gets home…”…
When daddy came home, my baby sister ( I was about 3) and I were dressed to the nines, in lace and frills.
This day, my beautiful, petite baby sister on his lap, my daddy broke my little girl. He shattered that excited “daddy’s home!” pink little heart.
As I twirled and danced and giggled with glee and went to jump onto his other knee, his response was a harsh, “Sit down, you are too big for that! Sit down and be a big girl.” And he readjusted the baby, cradling her in the crook of his arm (she was about 1).
Today, as the tears fall on my 46th birthday, I have found the root of a lifetime of self-doubt and feelings of inadequacy, even worthlessness.
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We live in a world that twists the meanings of the languages that God created for us, {this has ALWAYS made this writer crazy angry.}.
Self-doubt is not self awareness, meekness or ever humility.
Self-doubt is, in fact, an unhealthy twist on humility; a distraction from our dreams and God’s will and direction for our lives.
Suzanne provided some good questions we can ask ourselves as we do that healthy self assessment in regard to the what, when, why and who of the self-doubt that exists within us:
Do I have a valid reason to doubt?
Is my doubt due to a particular person(s)?
Is my doubt due to something in my past?
Is it the enemy causing me to doubt?
So, this morning as I pondered the amazing amount of White showing through my Red hair, making me look dusty, I contemplated having the courage to let the red grow out to see just how white it was {God has apparently honored my request for white hair, like my great-grandmother Godwin}. I realize, again, that I am 4 years to 50.
A half century of life!
Amazing!
I read the part about Lysa’s memories…and then immediately wrote a poem, I’m hoping…No! I faithfully know that this breakthrough is going to mean health to my body, spirit and mind. I’m excited as I have a goal I am working on, and this experience today feels like God saying: You are of Beautiful Worth and You are going to succeeded!
The Father’s Delight
There was a child,
Small and full of light,
She twirled and twirled,
Seeking father’s delight.
The sun shone in,
The window pane,
No matter the sorrow,
No matter the shame.
The little girl grew,
Twirling dizzily each year,
Twirling and dancing,
Seeking and yearing with fear.
The Son shone into
Her heart aching with pain,
He eased the sorrow,
And took her shame.
She danced, again a child of light,
Her heart full of joy.
She twirls and twirls…
To The Father’s Delight.
A wonderful woman who read this story today reminded me of an incredible video by Mercy Me ~ Beautiful. I thought I’d add it here, even though this post is long!
I find it interesting that with each of these MMM challenges, I think this is my third challenge, I am met with a wall of stress.
Why???
Because, I always choose God‘s Word, and the adversary does his level best to ensure that I (we) don’t get these Mega Verses into our hearts and spirits!
So this week, I have written out, in hand, Psalm 91; I cannot tell you how many times!!
I’ve found that I do not particularly like this particular translation, I chose to memorize, as I thought I might. It’s great for reading, in reference to understanding the Word; however, my mind wants the poetry of the NKJ or even the NIV versions. So this is a bit more tedious than I had planned.
This week, as I used point parts of this Psalm for my daily scripture guide and status on Face Book, a friend from, elementary school, mentioned that it was an amazing Psalm when understood. Well then I got my exhortation on! I answered her with:
“The full understanding of Psalm 91 is astounding! It is all of God’s promises of protection, from all over the bible, gathered in one message to us from God…and the only requirement is that we abide in his shelter and shadow! and……as if that were not blessing enough, that last 3 verses 14-16 are literal words from God, directly to us, that He loves us so much that when He rescues us He will have a celebration to honor us! Imagine, just like the Prodigal…with each step we take in the areas of our live in which we need rescue, he celebrates to honor our achievements in Him…it’s mind blowing! ♥”
Today I was able to rely upon this scripture while ministering to two women from church.
Then my day went haywire, in a big and stressful way.
My head knows this is the enemy’s way to keep me in a feeling of failure in regard to my writing. I haven’t written anything, except blog posts, for months! This is not a good thing (not the blogging), I desire to write for a living, but I gotta write to earn, so distractions…focus…that is why I am here at 10 pm writing this post, instead of apologizing in the morning for being a day late. I will write, I will find focus, I will locate my routine again.
You see I have made the Most High my home!
I find I have a huge STOP in my spirit. One that must be revealed so that I can follow this calling God has so graciously returned to me.
A friend on FB posted this earlier today: Trust in the Lord with all your heart; lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge God, and He will direct your path.
While I don’t understand where this Stop originates, it will not stop me entirely, for the Lord is my refuge.
And how that answered my need, today. So back to the Mother of all comfort scriptures: Psalm 91. I’m going to try this in one shot here tonight, bear with me… :/
Same rules as before: RED for having to look; Strike outs for those things I just get wrong, outright.My favorite verses…14-16 in Italics {new}.
1. Whoever lives under the shelter of the Most High will remain in the shadow of the Almighty
2. I will say to the Lord, You are my refuge and my fortress, my God in whom I trust.
3. He is the One Who will rescue you from the hunters’ traps and from deadly plagues.
4. He will cover you with His feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge. His Truth is your shield and armor
5. You do not need to fear the terrors of the night, arrows that fly during the day,
6. plagues that roam the dark, epidemics that strike at noon.
7. They will not come near you, even though a thousand may fall dead beside you or ten thousand at your right side.
8. You only have to look with your eyes to see the punishment of wicked people.
9. You, O Lord, are my refuge! You have made they Most High your home.
10. No harm will come to you. No sickness will come near your house.
11. He will protect you in all your waput His angels charge of you to protect you in all your ways.
12. They will carry you in their hands so that you never hit your foot on against a rock.
13. You will trample step on lions and cobras. You will trample young lions and snakes.
14. Because you love me, I will rescue you. I will protect you because you know my name.
15. When you call me, I will answer you. I will be with you when you are in trouble I willsave you satisfy you with a long life.save and honor you.
16. I will save yousatisfy you with a long life. I will show you how I will save you.
Well, there you go. My progress, I’m not sure I did as well this update as compared to last weeks. And there is so much about this Scripture, revelation I have received, that I want to share. Like Meagan over on Stand and Consider did with the last MMM, I see myself spending the rest of the year truly memorizing this until it wakes me in the night, or I realize I am reciting it like prayer throughout my day!
The Word is truly alive! Thanks Meagan, that encouraged me immensely.
Next week is our celebration and I intend on typing out Psalm 91 in Picnik , with a back round I created last year…:) Whether I have to look or not…I am getting it.
For a bit over two weeks a measure of people, the number which will likely never be know to this writer, were gathered by a tiny child whose mission was to turn the lost back again to the Father. His mission was swift and completed in full in a very short time. I have never, and dare say may never again, witness such a move of God on the hearts of His children in such a manner. It was nothing short of an amazing act of divine intervention.
This was written as a tribute to Ewan Eliezer Petermann and to the strength and courage of his parents, Kirsten and James Petermann.
I ask that who read this pray for Kirsten and James and their whole family in this time of great loss. Ewan’s mission is not finished, his tiny ripple in our existance continues to widen and will eternally touch lives and turn hearts to God. I stand in awe of God, of His faithful servant Ewan, who likely knew his mission from the beginning, and of the knowledge that each of us have a calling that we are compelled to fulfill.
My goal is to be courageous like the Petermanns, to be fearless like Ewan and to touch the hearts of many and turn the lost to God. With this meager offering I hope to touch you.
Be a Blessing Loves.
Tell someone you love them today.
God expects this from us. ♥
copyright belongs to Kirsten Petermann
Divine Intervention: The Ewan Eliezer Petermann Story – [flash story form]
On a sunny, autumn Saturday morning a warrior was born in the northern most point in the west. A price already on his life, he would be here a very short time. His mission to turn an immeasurable amount of souls back to the father during and after his life. His work would be swift and complete in its divine mission.
Knowing the risks of bringing this tiny life into the world the warriors parents chose his life, against all the odds. Really, it was their calling, their mission, to follow and endure all that this act of obedience to their faith would hold. Amidst all that would happen they would come to this realization in amazement.
An army was gathered, given all of the particulars and the assignment to pray, always in agreement, led by the faithful parents. E-mails, blog posts, pictures, tweets and status reports carried the message of the little warrior and the rally to pray.
Pray they did, each and every soldier. Each prayer holding up the arms of mom and dad, like Aaron and Hur did for Moses, to bring the victory.
The little warrior’s name essentially means, ‘Youthful Warrior of God’s Grace is God’s Help’. This was not lost on his parents, who quickly realized that they had given their little warrior the name God had intended. It brought further peace knowing that this child, a very young David, after God’s own heart, was chosen, divinely.
Ewan’s army was gathered, and in two weeks innumerable people, from all corners of the earth, were praying in unity. Many were not believers when they began, but seeing the face of God in the actions of others were reconciled to the father, by the life of this little warrior.
You see, some come into the world for a very short time, yet have the highest callings and divine intervention at hand. Through a tiny broken heart nations were gathered and told of the saving grace of God. And when the little warrior was called home again, too soon after having arrived, he left his broken heart in his mother’s chest so she would always remember her little warrior’s mission.
With that he was called home at the word’s of our Father, “This is my Son, in whom I am well pleased.”
The Picture of Ewan to the far right of this post will take you to Team-Ewan’s blog where you can find the entire story of his dynamic life.
Last night I has a sleep study performed, because the Cardiologist @ Deborah Heart and Lung Center in Brownsmills, NJ., felt it was necessary. Why? Because, sleeplessness is a major cause of hypertension. So I was wired like a science project, plugged in and sent to bed. At 10:30 pm no less!
Blessedly the the room was very much like an old hotel/motel room, teal green carpet and drapes to prove it, with just a tv and a few lamps. Worried that once I turned off the tv I wouldn’t be able to sleep, in the very noisy silence. Did you ever notice how noisy and active silence is? Try a sleep study! I turned out the lamp and settled in for the night and God helped me out with the silence! He is always faithful! Like with the carpet and drapes my room had the old style wall mounted airconditioner and she was not quiet! Ahhhhh….
I guess I slept ok, felt like I slept the normal 5 or 6 hours, but I won’t be certain until I return to Deborah for my follow-up.
So anyway, I call home at 5:05 am, to find that the boys had not awakened to the alarm, and woke Don up to pick me up, (he had a 45 minute ride ahead of him, just enough time to meet the 6am checkout (NO) discharge time!). I’m glad I got to call home!
So the techie unwired me, explained when I would be contacted (about 3 weeks, ehhh.) and off I was to dress and leave. I walked out to a slowly illuminating sky with bright sun edging the slowly brightening clouds. Unlike the brutal mornings of July, there was a crisp chill in the air and the birds were joyfully singing in the trees, as far off, it seemed, traffic traveled up and down Trenton Road, even so early on this Saturday morning. I wondered if I was going to have to sit on the cement stoop when I saw a picnic table in a break area for employees. I walked the block to the table and sat reading Michael Cunningham’s The Hours waiting to be picked up. It was quite nice really, I enjoyed the time.
Don arrived on time, just 6:05 am, and we enjoyed the ride home. I asked if I could turn the heat on low and he laughed, saying that was something he didn’t think he would ever hear me say. I had to laugh too, he was right. As we drove east for home the sun was finally on the horizon. Huge and bright it made certain areas very hard to navigate for the blinding rays of unadulterated light. We both began to watch what we could see of the road ahead of us. It’s these times of working together that I realize God’s design for our lives, Don’s and mine, that is.
Although He, God, has designed and planned ALL life. I’ll explain that more in a bit, with visual aids!
When the sun got so bright we couldn’t see an inch ahead of us I handed Don my sunglasses, his are lost again I guess, and convinced him for once to use the visor! I scanned the road ahead and warned him of curves and other cars (moving and parked), as he attempted to keep his eye on the road ahead of him. From Route 70 in Brownsmills, to First Street in Pinelake Park, the sun would be a flaming ball to light our way, even though we couldn’t see. This reminds me of a facebook post I recently shared here.
There was no aggrevation (Don) or anxiety about the aggravation (me), we just worked together and got home safely, after checking Dad’s house and caring for the animals because he is at his cabin in NY this weekend.
Home safely and assaulted by our three Dachshunds, who always act as if we’ve been gone for years, we got kissed and jumped on and when all were content everyone settled into a bright and peaceful Saturday morning. Don and the Dachies settled in for a continuation of their snooze. Then I got my yogurt and granola and began my Coffee time with God.
My devotionals seemed out of sync, which is unusual these days. It was not until I read the post of a woman, MEB, on facebook, a friend added about a year ago. MEB is an actual friend, who lives in the area, of one of my actual friends on FB, and MEB accepted my friend request for prayer for her family. The tragedy for which we had been praying rounded itself and has been absorbed by the family, who is now in a constant struggle, finally causing our friend to become quiet and unresponsive. Even showing resentment and anger at some of our scripture posts. We continued to reach out to her, encourage her and pray.
I don’t know much about what is going in her life except for her children. I do know, from her fb posts, that she is a great mother who is now basically functioning, amazingly, as a single parent. She reached out just recently and I grasped the chance to minister to her. She has been reading my blog posts on facebook, which I had been unaware of, and they were encouraging her. I was humbled and answered a few of her questions. She once again became quiet, I don’t know whether I was too forward in my joy or that she is just quite busy with her life, but I pray and check the fb posts.
This morning, after my devotion scriptures were read, I wandered over to facebook, and was shown favor by God and my friend,. MEB was getting God…she was responding to posts that spoke to her. I could only hope she had been able to see God in her day. Here it was, she was seeing God!
While backtracking to last night’s posts, so I could see what all my friends were up to, I found this in MEB’s posts! I was overjoyed that she had found this! Please watch it will amaze you!
Now I was introduced to Laminin many years ago by my children’s Youth Pastor, and I remembered this morning as the Holy Spirit rose in me while I viewed this particular video, how amazing the information really is. Christ really does, literally hold each of us together, and with this imformation how does one deny it?
God is good, Let everything that has breath praise His name!
So, with the scripture used in the video, I look down to my journal and realize that all 4 scriptures were forming my prayer for today, and everyday!
The Scriptures are : Philippians 1:9-10; Mark 12:30; Romans 8:28 and Colossians 1: 16-19. In the order I received them, in the order I wrote them in my journal and in the order I wrote this prayer. God simply made them hold together! Amazing
My Prayer:
Thank You,Father God, that my love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, so that I may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless, until the day of Christ. I will love the LORD my God… with all my heart, all my spirit, all my mind, and with every ounce of strength within me. I know that You, God cause ALL things to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to Your purpose for them. For by You, ALL things were created: things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities; ALL things were created by You and for You. You are before ALL things, and in Christ ALL things hold together. He is the head of the body, the church; He is the beginning and the firstborn among the dead, so that in ALL things He might have the supremacy. For You, God was pleased to have ALL Your fullness dwell in Christ. Amen.
Good Morning¸¸.•*¨*•☼•*¨*•.¸¸and be blessed loves! ♥
I welcome your company,
I welcome your friendships.
My Journey is in the light ~
although I have and will share the
shadowy corners and the dark ~
so you know that you are never alone there.
If we hold hands in the dark,
and we walk, side by side, through
the shadow, we will reach the Light
together, in relationship with
one another and with the Light.
Ready?
Blessings Loves,
Andrea aka Hopeannfaith
We are not human beings on a spiritual journey. We are spiritual beings on a human journey.
~ Stephen Covey
I just ordered my necklace from 
First let me apologize for being a day late with this final update. 
in her life. 
