Focus: I’m Praying On It … 25 of 31 Days

My job is to be obedient to God, to apply His Word, and to walk according to His ways—not according to the world’s suggestions. ~Lysa TerKeurst

Honestly I had a problem with this … on the last legs of co-dependency my “taught” nature is to people please. From my parents to my children my job WAS to keep the peace.

Today … not so much!

Praying on it …

My goal is to focus on God, totally. We all quibble about those people [Christians] who say that they are going to “pray on it” … they seem to go to God for everything … big, little, good, bad and indifferent. The consensus, for those of us who judge this to be avoidance, is that they just don’t want to be apart of the group that does the work of the kingdom. In all of our highfalutin-ness we believe they just want to sit in the pews [chairs] and soak in God then go home to their lives.

Well it’s just as much their job to be obedient to God and walk in His ways for their lives as it is ours!

I’m there … Prayin’ on It! Don’t get me wrong … I have a full schedule of responsibilities, much of which is Kingdom related, then when a season, like the one I am at the end of, gets stressed … it is then that one either grows or withers.

Like our sweet pastor said on Wednesday … We were given faith … we aren’t supposed to wither. Yet we feel as though we are withering away with the stresses of this life … we were built of sturdier stuff!

We were built to weather the storms of this life … We were given salvation and faith so that we could stand, unhindered by what would come against us in this existence.

As for everyone who comes to me and hears my words and puts them into practice, I will show you what they are like. They are like a man building a house, who dug down deep and laid the foundation on rock. When a flood came, the torrent struck that house but could not shake it, because it was well built. – Luke 6:47-48

However, we cannot remain that foundational rock when we are focused on what the world [others] suggest. Even the most loving Christians make the mistake of assuming they know best for someone else.

I’m referring to myself here.

The storms of this season I’m in have ravaged me. I feel tired and spent, but God … OH YES … but God! Even feeling the emotional and physical fatigue that I do I remain calm and I understand what is going on. There is no confusion … no chaos, just the comfort of knowing I don’t have control here, and God is bigger than my circumstance. A comfort really … almost no responsibility … yet the world [others] would/have judged me differently.

I’m focused upon God … obedient to Him alone, if I cannot back up, in the Word, what I’m being guided to do by others I’m not doing it … if I can back it up I’m praying on it to be certain that God is directing me. No more biting off more then I can chew because I feel obligated or because I’m afraid to say no … or even because I feel I need to please someone so they will love me still.

No, in obedience to God, I’m prayin’ on it!

But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

– Matthew 6:33-34

My days have joys and troubles of their own, and no one knows them … So I’ll pray on it. 🙂

My faith doesn’t rest on the Wisdom of men but on the Power of God.

~ 1 Corinthians 2:5

Blessings.

Welcome to 31 days – the beautiful brainchild of the Nester who inspires us to spend the month of October writing every single day on a topic that might inspire a community.
And I found it through Lisa-Jo Baker ~ tales from a Gypsy Mama
.

Focus: Praying Continually … Day 23

Day 23 was a busy day!

My God

Worked this morning, and had a Cardiologist appointment in the afternoon.

There was much to pray for today … my boy who is persevering in his struggle with his affliction … my appointment where I expected a good report, and I wasn’t disappointed! And God used the fasting for blood work to intensify that expectation.

Prayer moves God’s hand … and I was able to see that today. Fasting clarifies things and God’s answers … and my prayers answered, my countenance calm. It was a good day for this prayer.

Blessings =)

Welcome to 31 days – the beautiful brainchild of the Nester who inspires us to spend the month of October writing every single day on a topic that might inspire a community.
And I found it through Lisa-Jo Baker ~ tales from a Gypsy Mama
.

Perseverance in Prayer … 22 of 31 Days of Focus

“Focusing on the self is the opposite of focusing on God. Anyone completely absorbed in self ignores God, ends up thinking more about self than God. That person ignores who God is and what he is doing. And God isn’t pleased at being ignored.” Romans 8:7-8 MSG

But focusing on others in prayer is touching the heart of God!

A large part of this 31 day focus for me is praying for others … when we do this God is freed to repair what is broken and tattered within the prayer!

This focus thing is really taking off. And tonight I am trusting that …

God’s Mercies

I have a son who suffers an affliction that is trying it’s hardest to kill him. And any mother knows that to watch your child suffer is one of the worst tortures known to man.

He sat by me, like he never does, and I saw him small again, and I asked if he needed Mom and a single tear dropped as he shook his head while I told him I loved him no matter what … and THE hardest thing I’ve dealt with in a long time (including family issues, tornadoes and uprooted trees and health issues) is having my son be in enough pain to ask me for money to feed his affliction.

And as I said, quietly, NEVER! I entered into prayer for my son like no other time. It was calm, it was peaceful and it was continual.

As he left, in search of whatever he needed, with that threat that these afflicted souls always leave those who refuse the demon, I prayed hard still. Within minutes he was back, unsuccessful or may my heart be still, having reconsidered, without what he was in search of and he laid down and slept, fitfully slept, my tow headed, blue eyed boy!

So I go to bed praying, as throughout this night I will wake to the battle his body and mind is enduring and my reasonable duty to God and my son is to persevere in prayer as my boy perseveres in his fight, and hopefully his prayer.

I know from experience that even the unbeliever prays to God in such times. I hope … I pray he calls out to God now. Amen.

Blessings.

Welcome to 31 days – the beautiful brainchild of the Nester who inspires us to spend the month of October writing every single day on a topic that might inspire a community.
And I found it through Lisa-Jo Baker ~ tales from a Gypsy Mama
.

 

Focus … 20 & 21 of 31 Days

Sometimes I don’t do much writing on the weekend.

Saturday is about time with my husband and the boys {if they’re around}. We treat errands like a date … enjoy dinner and a movie, usually on-demand, and just enjoy a simplistic, layed back day.
The TV rarely even gets turned on until the movie in the evening. It’s just quiet and reflective and comfortable.
On Saturday, in the quiet, I pray a lot. And lately those prayers have fixed a great many things … my words, my thoughts and meditations, and my attitude overall.

At the End of the Day …

Sunday is about God … God’s Word and Family … church and proper.

“but the seventh day is a sabbath to the Lord your God. On it you shall not do any work, neither you, nor your son or daughter, nor your male or female servant, nor your animals, nor any foreigner residing in your towns.” – Exodus 20:10

So … often, I do not write on the weekends … because those two days are about honoring  #1 and #2 on my list of importance …

God and Family!

Blessings.

Welcome to 31 days – the beautiful brainchild of the Nester who inspires us to spend the month of October writing every single day on a topic that might inspire a community.
And I found it through Lisa-Jo Baker ~ tales from a Gypsy Mama
.

A 5minute Look Within … 19 of 31 Days of Focus on God Things

Now, set your timer, clear your head, for five minutes to just write without worrying if it’s just right or not.

1. Write for 5 minutes flat – no editing, no over thinking, no backtracking.
2. Link back here and invite others to join in.
3. And then absolutely, no ifs, ands or buts about it, you need to visit the person who linked up before you & encourage them in their comments. Seriously. That is, like, the rule. And the fun. And the heart of this community..

Oh and Ahem, if you would take pity and turn off comment verification, it would make leaving some love on your post that much easier for folks!

OK, are you ready? Won’t you please give me your best five minutes on:::

Look… {19 of 31 Days of Focus on God Things} … an introduction:
My post is already written and it really did take little more than five minutes earlier today during my Fix Andrea Day … which occurs most every Friday! My friend/sponsor and other like minded women get together and work on improving ourselves from the inside.

We’ve begun our own workshop from the book The Right to Write by Julia Cameron … having already finished Love is a Choice. {so glad that one is done}

This one focuses on the Writer/Artist within … the writer at each one of our cores {Spirits}.
My 5 Minute and 31 Days post came from the first assignment in the book … a free writing exercise about a look at where we are right now and how we feel …

I wrote it with the 5 minute rule in mind! And because God is an awesome God it fell right into my 31 Day Focus. 😀
So Lets Look! Go!

I feel good today. I’ve felt good since I prayed on Sunday that God life the angst, oppressive ache in my heart concerning people, places and He did! He lifted it instantly, because it wasn’t of Him, it was contrary to Him.
All the while thinking I was focused on Him and trusting Him!
Oh! the codependent mind, how it deceives a soul, clouding the glorious reality of the spiritual being.

I think I feel joy – mild as it is. But i think, maybe, joy – real consistent joy is like a smooth fullness, lingering tangibly in the spirit of a person. making the view of the outside a serene picture show no matter the script.

Feeling like this I can handle a wind uprooted tree lying against my home – my safe place, seeing it as a blessing. Knowing that my spirit is filled by God I can look on this tragedy of the eye as the beginning of a solution. A better sollution than the physical eye can see.

Tree lying on my house!

My broken house.

My broken house. 🙂

May these words be pleasing … 18 of 31 Days of God Focus on a Few Words Thursday

} Day 18

I know I’ve been harping about thankfulness and gratitude and my Sunday release from my internal hell, and I apologize to those of you who are looking for more …

But …

That is what God has me focused on!

As I write these Few Words … trying for linear thought and composition. The fewest words to the most powerful point.

That’s what Few Words Thursday is about … and so not my style of writing! =D

So today I focus on Words … and what God says about our words. We are responsible for what comes out of our mouths, as well as what does not come out of our mouths.

Our commission is to go and TELL the nations!

Our mission is to tell, show, SHINE Jesus to a world who may not hear God or our words. Now I find it amazing that my mission field is the internet … for now, God could change that anytime … but I spread His Word and His love here and with my photography {which I write on!}. So my prayer focus this week will be …

My Words and the Meditation of My Heart

“May these words of my mouth and this meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer.”

~Psalm 19:14

Blessings!

IN-Filled … 17 of 31 Days of God Focus

Thankful

{Day 17}

“The Lord will accomplish what concerns me” Psalm 138:8

Literally one of my favorite scripture verses. And it fits with the post for this day! God is faithful and while this post is for yesterday God made certain that I would find His intended words to explain how my focus on Him broke through days and weeks of mire and freed me to be once more INFILLED by His Spirit.

Church was amazing … after literally weeks of trudging through the mire of my heart just to milk a little from His Word to soothe my ravaged heart I was once again Filled … the indwelling of the Spirit of God was made tangible once again.

I posted this as my status after church …

Refreshed at church tonight … God and I have been working on an attitude issue lately (mine of course) and Sunday I asked Him to lift a heart issue if it wasn’t a flag from Him … He lifted it instantly! Tonight church was amazing … I learned and revelation was expounded upon! So grateful that God gave me a tenacious personality, so grateful He taught me perseverance … so grateful for a teaching Pastor!

It’s amazing to look back, quickly, and see how God has worked on your behalf yesterday … It’s amazing how faithful and wonderful He is to His more stubborn children. It seems to me that He is kinder to us raucous kids, He uses a softer touch. Knowing the why of our choices, it seems He talks louder and comforts more tender those of us who get lost in old “safety” behaviors.

We, His broken kids.

I really decided I was not safe … and so I retreated into the numb and unfeeling. You see, then I couldn’t get hurt. But … that is not focusing on God! It is not trusting God!

I’ve found that when I isolate … when I refuse to feel … I separate myself from God, I create a chasm.

So what does God do? He reaches deep within me and whispers PRAY! And I did (am) and I prayed when I didn’t feel anything. I prayed through it …and

See … God assumes responsibility for accomplishing what concerns you in times of trouble. Your job is to believe that He will fulfill His purpose, His power is adequate, and He’ll keep every promise. When the trial has achieved His goal, He’ll remove it. Until then, keep walking with your eyes on Him.

I’ve heard it said that God has done all He is going to do … well … I am here to say that God works on my behalf daily … reminding, encouraging and loving me … even when I am my worst me He does for me what I will not or cannot do for myself.

He PERFECTS what concerns me … and He does the same for YOU!

Blessings!

Lighter … 16 of 31 Days of God Focus

Breaking Through to the Other Side of It …

{Day 16}

The prayer in this photo is not mine … but I’ve adopted it, Lysa TerKeurst suggested it on her Facebook page today, and it inspired the photo. The photo is a year old … and one I originally made with a psalm on it … but it was what came to mind when I decided that God and Lysa were speaking to me! Well … God through Lysa!
This prayer vigil I am on … this attitude adjusting prayer thing has lead to a lighter feeling. God lifting from my heart that angst … that feeling of total discomfort … Oh how faithful is our Heavenly Father.

When I tell you my attitude was bad, well you couldn’t see it unless you knew me well. I was faking it and not making it! I was all about not feeling it (anything) I had wallowed in my bad attitude … my resentment long enough that I didn’t feel … and when I don’t feel I can’t feel God either.

My dislike of circumstances had caused me to isolate … and I wasn’t focusing on God … or God things. I was focusing on me and me things … BAD idea!

Well, like I said yesterday God lifted it and today I feel lighter … Free, like a weight was lost. I could breath deeply and feel relief … God was extending His blessing from yesterday into today …

Oh! how much I am loved … how much He loves us!

This is what prayer does … it frees us of ourselves and allows God to see to the circumstances.

Prayer changes things … people … circumstances.

“You labour at prayer and results happen all the time from His standpoint. What an astonishment it will be to find, when the veil is lifted, the souls that have been reaped by you, simply because you had been in the habit of taking your orders from Jesus Christ.”

~ Oswald Chambers

Blessings.

Unless the LORD … my so-called life.

Unless the LORD builds the house, the builders labor in vain. Unless the LORD watches over the city, the guards stand watch in vain. – Psalm 127:1 

It has so been over a month since I have posted. I’ve been very busy and very stressed. Caring for my grandma, again, and the stress and the chaos resulting from unstable and uncaring family members caught up with me.

Flowers seem intended for the solace of ordinary humanity. ~John Ruskin

I’ve felt, selfishly, alone in all of this. I prayed, I cried (out) and God answered, and I am so grateful. Yet in all of that faith I lost sight of Christ in me.

Psalm 127

A song of ascents. Of Solomon.

¹ Unless the LORD builds the house,    the builders labor in vain. Unless the LORD watches over the city,    the guards stand watch in vain. ² In vain you rise early    and stay up late, toiling for food to eat—    for he grants sleep to^[a]those he loves.

³ Children are a heritage from the LORD,    offspring a reward from him. ⁴ Like arrows in the hands of a warrior    are children born in one’s youth. ⁵ Blessed is the man    whose quiver is full of them. They will not be put to shame    when they contend with their opponents in court.

I have become depressed and insomnia has set in. I’ve opened a door, what a sin, and yet … I rise up in anger that this might be true, that I might have sinned in my fatigue and fear and anger that all these things are happening.

Once again I have entered into the I will handle this of controlling Andrea, and like the psalm says … Unless the LORD …

I have fought to figure out the conundrum of the malfunction in my family; yet know that explaining away profound mental illness is futile. I have demanded in my heart that they rise up and do the right thing; knowing that they cannot, will not (I feel part of it is willful on their part). I struggle with the fact that I have to step back so that the right people make whatever decisions they make so that my grandma is cared for … that if I continue to “rise early and stay up late … toiling …” that those responsible will sit back and enjoy their lives while I continue.

And I struggle that this is a sin on my part … this standing back … this saying no … this refusal to take the literal abuse from certain family members … because to continue in this fashion will be my own will. I must know that God has these things in order.

I am the heritage … the arrow in the quiver and I have not been put to shame; but neither, have I been loved as a reward from God … and there I go again, feeling sorry for me …

Unless the LORD … this song of Solomon sings in my head.

UNLESS THE LORD …

I do nothing without the LORD. This is not to say that I am not doing something when I am in my own power, it just means I come out to the light exhausted and soul weary. I spin my wheels and try … yet in all the doing I accomplish nothing of God, I accomplish anxiety and fear and throw open the door for the tempting of the one who would have me believe that I can accomplish anything without HIM!

Unless the LORD … I walk in the pride that I can control … I walk in the delusion that I am entitled to the love and care that I so long from my family. I walk in obscure futility until I come to this point, where I am right now, that I know even as I ache and tear up because ….

Unless the LORD … I do not have the love of maternal or paternal family. Unless I accept that He is enough, that His Love , He is Love, is all the love I will ever need … Unless I allow His love to cover the sin of a family of chaos and self-love …

Unless the LORD … I cannot overcome this DNA of self-love.

All I ask is MORE OF YOU GOD … less of me … and Unless the LORD … this cannot be.

Blessings Loves.

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• Wednesday, January 11, 2012 @ Psalms 3-5 (phyllisbenigas.wordpress.com)

Safe in Him … the me He created … {Day 6}

He who watches over me will not slumber ~ Psalm 121:3b

Most vulnerable, are we, in the state of sleep.

Each night I sign off of my favorite social network with blessings, prayers and the reminder to all who know, and who do not know, that God watches over us in that vulnerable state of sleep. I know this to be truth … but …

… do I believe?

I woke this morning to this in a comment to my good night status from a friend …

“We are safe in Him”

For great is your love toward me ...

There was revelation in the reading of that simple part of her comment … It brought great understanding in this quest I have chosen.

 … we are safe in Him.

I am seeking the Me He Created here … and to do this I must find Him in ME; while he protects and honors and comforts me in Himself …

Oh the depths this touches within me. It feels like my heart will burst, yet I understand this to be a wholly spiritual sensation as well.

This week … in this quest I have prayed some specific prayers. I truly sought God in prayer to the comfort of answers.

Am I amazed? Yes and no …

Psalm 86: 5-7

You, Lord, are forgiving and good,
   abounding in love to all who call to you.
Hear my prayer, LORD;
   listen to my cry for mercy.
When I am in distress, I call to you,
   because you answer me.

 No … because it is not the first (by miles and miles!) answers He has made clear …

Yes … in that these prayers were for things I have battled and found no answer to forever!

I’ve asked for stamina and no physical pain, when caring for a loved one.

I’ve asked to find Him in the mundane things of my day.

I’ve asked for courage to do something I was not comfortable doing.

I’ve asked for true rest …

It was that simple … I surrendered in the prayer I’ve been praying … I’ve been thankful in that I have His Word and that I truly believe it in my mind …

… and now it has dropped into my heart and spirit …

I believe God … I believe what He says in His word … I believe what He has promised!

Miraculously I was not fatigued nor was I in any terrible pain after a day of shopping and caring with my loved one!

Miraculously I have truly found Him and His purpose in my mundane day to day; and they were miraculously not mundane any longer, but full of purpose.

Miraculously I had the courage to step out of my comfort zone in a ministry outreach and found that I was successful and received well by those outside of my normal circles.

I asked for true rest and woke refreshed and ready for this day, this Sunday; after a long week and the abuse of the coming extra hour provided by daylight savings! 🙂

… and then God’s House!

Confirmation in this Psalm today … We delved into Psalm 86:1-7; 10-13 And this was just for the offering! My suggestion … read the whole psalm.

Then the Message! Faith and Faithfulness!

In a nutshell …

Faith must rest on eternal things – when one’s faith rests on eternal things God then takes care of the temporal [worldly] things!

My focus is HIM … and HIS KINGDOM … and where I fit into that. And I DO fit into that.

For Great is His Love for ME!

The coming week and month holds some very hard and important tasks. Things I am not sure of; things that shake my confidence in me.

Yet …

It’s not about me! Right?

These things are important for my ministries … to even be blessed to have whatever ministries God has planned. These things are vital to my spiritual growth, not to mention my natural growth.

Gratefully I know how to prepare for them … Miraculously {funny, like any of this happened over night!} yet that is exactly how it feels!

It’s as if all of a sudden my relationship with Father God deepened with the dawn of this, the shortest day of 2011 so far!

So, as this first day of early sunsets I embark on the continuation of this revelatory prayer that I have miraculously stumble upon! Ha! 😀

I implore you …

What is it you need? Is there something you have battled and prayed for that simply has not manifested?

Pray for more of Him … tell Him exactly what you need, truly knowing that you cannot and that He can … Allow Him to tackle that thing through the YOU in HIM and the HIM in YOU …

** We, as a church, have been challenged to read 1 proverb each day for 31 days … clearly complicating all those things I have ahead of me this next 2 weeks 😀 … with the promise that it will change our lives! That it will teach us how to live and answer many of those questions we have in our day to day lives!

Join us … I know that this practice of truly putting God’s Word into us works.

Let me know how you’re doing … I honestly and deeply want to know how you are doing on your personal quest.

Whatever that quest looks like in your life!

More of Him

Blessings Loves!