Tender

Today was my birthday … It’s been a loooong week, with stress and heartache and me wondering why all this must be. I don’t question God when my tender heart’s wounds are opened and splayed wide by circumstances and by the people I love and then must forgive. I don’t blame God, I tend to blame the one’s I love, who don’t seem to love me back … I don’t know why … and that question will go unanswered, because it’s not that they don’t love … it’s that it isn’t the love I long for. Selfish … maybe … it’s complicated and has left many a tender spot in need of healing.

It always surprises me the depth of healing this heart of mine needs.

Then I remember … they love as best they can in the darkness … and I live in the light, the light of God’s deep and enduring love for me … for ME … and then I remember to pray, first that the tenderness of my wounds would cause me to pray for those I love … who love differently than I … and I pray for forgiveness for my selfish need for this love …

Psalm 25:5-7

⁵ Guide me in your truth and teach me,    for you are God my Savior, and my hope is in you all day long. ⁶ Remember, LORD, your tender mercy and love,    for they are from of old. ⁷ Do not remember the sins of my youth    and my rebellious ways; according to your love remember me,    for you, LORD, are good.

Then … just as I begin to live I’ve done it finally … pushed Him to turn from my sinful nature He, my God, comes along side me and envelopes me in His presence and I realize the tenderness of this heart … is His reminder that I am weak without Him, and that the wounds remind me, though He’d rather I didn’t have them, to press into Him …

So I will remain tender of heart … and I will learn to use this tenderness to press into the light more and shine forth brighter for those that I love that still gravitate to the light …

 Join us over at The Gypsy Mama, where we write, unscripted, unedited, for 5-minutes, each week! This weeks prompt is “Tender” … how does your heart interperet it?Blessings Loves!https://seg.sharethis.com/getSegment.php?purl=https%3A%2F%2Fhopeannfaith.wordpress.com%2Fwp-admin%2Fpost-new.php&jsref=&rnd=1327728401385

 

An Opportunity to Rest in the LORD … 365 Days of Wielding the Sword of the Spirit …

How was your day, Loves?

What opportunities came your way … What challenges confronted your peace of mind? That’s about what life is, right, in a nut shell.

Opportunities … Challenges … and Choices.

I was challenged today … by the chance to walk in frustration and fear. Then I remembered I had a choice!

That’s right … A CHOICE!       

It may be the first time that I REALIZED that I had a choice in the face of a wall of challenge! And I took the opportunity!

The opportunity, you ask? YES … the opportunity!

I took the opportunity to REST in the LORD during a time of great stress! And… I actually rested!

God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging.

Psalm 46:1-3

No anxiety attacks today … not even when sitting, again, in the ER with my grandma, who is home and resting comfortably now!

HOW’S THAT FOR NOT FEARING! HOW’S THAT FOR PLEASING THE FATHER!

 Life is what it is … a gift that sometimes feels as if it’s wrappings are wrinkled and torn. But no matter how life behaves today or tomorrow, we have a choice.

The choice to meet the challenge with an attitude of faith, trusting that our Maker, our Father, is doing in the day all that needs doing to make sure we press that much deeper into Him, and more.

What’s the more, you may ask?

Well this morning, and when I think about it yesterday morning too, I awoke with this song soothing my mind as it danced in my head …

http://youtu.be/fS3uzkoF_0c

How great is God???

REMEMBER … DO NOT FEAR … FOCUS: GOD!

Blessings Loves!

 

WieldingThe Sword 365 – Battling Anxiety

May I say to you, today, that fear, anxiety and stress has no place in your life, your heart, your mind, or your situation.

Isaiah 35:4

⁴ say to those with fearful hearts,    “Be strong, do not fear; your God will come,    he will come with vengeance; with divine retribution    he will come to save you.”

Anxiety has attacked … out of the blue … evading from the past and who I used to be. In my world this is not acceptable.

I don’t have the time … I don’t have the energy to spare on this disease!

More importantly I do not have to suffer this; society’s new ”acceptance” of FEAR.

In Faith fear cannot stand … and in fear Faith cannot stand. There is nothing more clear if you ask me!

Amazing Grace

They say that God’s Word instructs not to FEAR 365 times … and I am on a quest to find as many of them as I can.

Fear is an instilled trait in many of us … some have silent, secret fears, while others suffer unexpectedly, and very visibly, for no apparent reason.

This world tells us we are afflicted … I say what the Word says!

Psalm 119: 89-96

  ל Lamedh

⁸⁹ Your word, LORD, is eternal;    it stands firm in the heavens. ⁹⁰ Your faithfulness continues through all generations;    you established the earth, and it endures. ⁹¹ Your laws endure to this day,    for all things serve you. ⁹² If your law had not been my delight,    I would have perished in my affliction. ⁹³ I will never forget your precepts,    for by them you have preserved my life. ⁹⁴ Save me, for I am yours;    I have sought out your precepts. ⁹⁵ The wicked are waiting to destroy me,    but I will ponder your statutes. ⁹⁶ To all perfection I see a limit,    but your commands are boundless.

Life is stressful. I think I’ve tackled the subject of stress before, but it bears repeating, stress comes in many forms. I call them:

The Good … The Bad … and … The Ugly

Today I deal with the bad … Saturday I battled the Ugly!

How does one battle the ugly and survive? I say survive because the anxiety junky truly feels as if they are dying. The heart races, uncontrollably, sweats break out and one feels as if they will simply shake until their very body shatters into little pieces of tinkling glass. Some suffer so severely that they come to a place where they do not recognize their own surroundings. Terror truly making them lost!

Been there, done that and do not intend to relapse into this abyss of mind bending disease!

I’ve taken the medications. I’ve had ”professional” treatment ,that wanted me to visit a past that could not be remedied, and as I look back I think, what good does visiting my past have in my healing? I’ve come to know that my past, while making me the survivor that I am, cannot heal me for my future.

The only remedy that works, in my opinion, is described clearly in the Word of God. The Word defines fear as not from God. God says there is nothing in this world for us to fear; for He built us, for He is with us, for He will never forsake us, for He will rescue us.

Of course there is a part we have in our rescue! We must trust God. We must remain in His Word so that we KNOW the truth about how we were created, who we are in Christ and how we are expected to live our lives.

We are to live our lives in Faith! We are to believe God … not just “in” God … but in every word that proceeds from His mouth.

So my purpose is to write about or simply post God’s guidance, through His Word, in regard to the level of fears in our lives. Like I said there should be 365! One for each day of the year.

Think about that … God so loved us that He prepared to let us know daily that He has our backs! If this knowledge, alone, does not quell today’s stress and fear, I do not know what can!

Do you suffer fear. Does the stress in your life cause you to suffer undo worry? May I suggest that you open the Word of God to the back and find the scriptures that speak to this affliction. May I invite you to join me on this Healing Journey on ending fear in our lives by applying God to the wound.

Blessings LOVES. I HOPE in FAITH that you are blessed here.

 

Fighting Censorship …

Tell Congress not to censor the internet NOW! – fightforthefuture.org/pipa

 

Awake … Wide Eyed for 5 Minutes!

It’s Friday and I haven’t done this in over a month … I think. Busy … busy … Stressed and busy, I have been. And then the words stopped flowing … and I stopped writing and fell spiritually asleep … so this prompt was apropos!

Here at HopeannFaith I join Lisa-Jo and the Five Minute Writers for a jaunt around my heart … allowing what is in there to flow out so that I may be apart of this heart minded … heart understanding … heart loving community. You may join us … just click the 5 Minute Button at the end of this post and share your heart …

Just 5 minutes mind you! No edits, no re-wording … just what comes with the flow from your heart to you fingers and out on the stark white page … show us your colors!

Ready? The prompt is Awake … Now GO!

Sleeping

“Wake up, sleeper,    rise from the dead,    and Christ will shine on you.”

Sleep has illuded me for about two weeks now … off and on. So I pray … for others … for me … for HIM.

I desire to be fully awake to this life … I hear his voice; His sheep know His voice, and I do. Yet I do not rest. I pray … and then there is content, the mind rests in Him … the body feeds on the Word as I pray it. I am sustained …

But in the light I fall prey … I hear His voice, I am awake to my sin … awakened to what is truely happening within me … I am being taught, lessoned; on how to handle the stresses in my life. The tragic and unforgiving malady of a broken extended family. 

Awake-ning

Awakened to a LOVE that supercedes what I desire from earthly parents. An awakeing to the fact that I must …

I MUST!

Attend to my Father’s ways; not my family’s way. In this seemingly “sleepiness” I am hearing and being shown the errors of my thinking and He … His HOLY SPIRIT is bringing to my remembrances those things I obediently put in; those things He has instructed within this SPIRIT of me.

I’m Awake … sometimes begrudingly, yet Father understands and asks …

My Girl, do you see? Do you understand? I am your Father … they were your guardians … it is I, I AM, who you follow … I AM your inheritance … and I fold up into that small girl and find comfort amongst the stress …

I understand … yet I need help applying this new understanding …

I lean not on my own understanding of this sleep/awake thing … I lean on, reside in Christ.

STOP!

¹³ But everything exposed by the light becomes visible—and everything that is illuminated becomes a light. ¹⁴This is why it is said:

   “Wake up, sleeper,    rise from the dead,    and Christ will shine on you.” – Ephesians 5:13-14

and …

 ⁵ Trust in the LORD with all your heart    and lean not on your own understanding; ⁶ in all your ways submit to him,    and he will make your paths straight.^[a]  – Proverbs 3:5-6

** Forgive a few minutes here … for adding the links to the scriptures!

Blessings Loves! Your Turn …

 

Unless the LORD … my so-called life.

Unless the LORD builds the house, the builders labor in vain. Unless the LORD watches over the city, the guards stand watch in vain. – Psalm 127:1 

It has so been over a month since I have posted. I’ve been very busy and very stressed. Caring for my grandma, again, and the stress and the chaos resulting from unstable and uncaring family members caught up with me.

Flowers seem intended for the solace of ordinary humanity. ~John Ruskin

I’ve felt, selfishly, alone in all of this. I prayed, I cried (out) and God answered, and I am so grateful. Yet in all of that faith I lost sight of Christ in me.

Psalm 127

A song of ascents. Of Solomon.

¹ Unless the LORD builds the house,    the builders labor in vain. Unless the LORD watches over the city,    the guards stand watch in vain. ² In vain you rise early    and stay up late, toiling for food to eat—    for he grants sleep to^[a]those he loves.

³ Children are a heritage from the LORD,    offspring a reward from him. ⁴ Like arrows in the hands of a warrior    are children born in one’s youth. ⁵ Blessed is the man    whose quiver is full of them. They will not be put to shame    when they contend with their opponents in court.

I have become depressed and insomnia has set in. I’ve opened a door, what a sin, and yet … I rise up in anger that this might be true, that I might have sinned in my fatigue and fear and anger that all these things are happening.

Once again I have entered into the I will handle this of controlling Andrea, and like the psalm says … Unless the LORD …

I have fought to figure out the conundrum of the malfunction in my family; yet know that explaining away profound mental illness is futile. I have demanded in my heart that they rise up and do the right thing; knowing that they cannot, will not (I feel part of it is willful on their part). I struggle with the fact that I have to step back so that the right people make whatever decisions they make so that my grandma is cared for … that if I continue to “rise early and stay up late … toiling …” that those responsible will sit back and enjoy their lives while I continue.

And I struggle that this is a sin on my part … this standing back … this saying no … this refusal to take the literal abuse from certain family members … because to continue in this fashion will be my own will. I must know that God has these things in order.

I am the heritage … the arrow in the quiver and I have not been put to shame; but neither, have I been loved as a reward from God … and there I go again, feeling sorry for me …

Unless the LORD … this song of Solomon sings in my head.

UNLESS THE LORD …

I do nothing without the LORD. This is not to say that I am not doing something when I am in my own power, it just means I come out to the light exhausted and soul weary. I spin my wheels and try … yet in all the doing I accomplish nothing of God, I accomplish anxiety and fear and throw open the door for the tempting of the one who would have me believe that I can accomplish anything without HIM!

Unless the LORD … I walk in the pride that I can control … I walk in the delusion that I am entitled to the love and care that I so long from my family. I walk in obscure futility until I come to this point, where I am right now, that I know even as I ache and tear up because ….

Unless the LORD … I do not have the love of maternal or paternal family. Unless I accept that He is enough, that His Love , He is Love, is all the love I will ever need … Unless I allow His love to cover the sin of a family of chaos and self-love …

Unless the LORD … I cannot overcome this DNA of self-love.

All I ask is MORE OF YOU GOD … less of me … and Unless the LORD … this cannot be.

Blessings Loves.

Related articles

• Wednesday, January 11, 2012 @ Psalms 3-5 (phyllisbenigas.wordpress.com)

 

if only i could have … 5 minutes!

Welcome to HOPEannFAITH! :)

On Fridays I try to join Lisa-Jo and her Five Minute Friends and simply write from my heart. The Rules:

1. Write for 5 minutes flat – no editing, no over thinking, no backtracking.

2. Link back here and invite others to join in.

3. Most importantly: leave a comment for the person who linked up before you – encouraging them in their writing!

 Prompt: TIRED … GO!

Focus!

STOP!

I have lost my focus. The reason I write. Where my words, the good ones, come from; and this has made me tired!

I have become ingrained with the belief that I have to write like the last fantastic blogger writes; and I follow many bloggers! So I can spend days of exhaustion reading one motivational and another devotional blog after another and end up feeling like a hack.

Yes, a hack!

This is not a pretty five minute friday post! Because today I am writing who I am today. Not trying to write a version of my heart that is masked in a light that is not there.

Don’t get me wrong, please. God built this girl to go out into the dark and get the wanderers, grab those lost in the dark girls that are not even close to ready to see themselves in the light and tell them that we (yes we, because I was out there once and for a long time!) can join you all in the light, and be accepted!

God's Andrea

I have a gift for words … a gift from God and my best writing comes directly from HIM, my Father Creator. And this year I tried to conform to the beautiful writing I see from all of you … and trying to write like another writer is makes me VERY TIRED and discouraged.

I’m not saying that any of my posts are not genuinely mine and from my heart. I’m just saying that I am going, from this day forward, write from the ministry I have been given!

All of you are beautiful in your own ways … the light, the fun, and the deep … and so am I. I’ve learned from all of you that I am beautiful and relevant and talented … and now.

STOP!!

My focus is God … God’s Word … and those that I can reach with my experiences to bring here and introduce to you so that they can learn that they are beautiful and relevant and talented …

So please forgive me the extra time … but TIRED is what I have been  feeling about this; causing writers block … now, hopefully my words will return!

Blessings Loves!

 

Books Make Great Gifts!

Books Make Great Gifts!

Books Make Great Gifts!

I’ve been hearing a lot about supporting Local Small business and business persons; for this Christmas Season!

Being a self-employed business woman with a tremendous amount of self-employed friends and acquaintances, I would like to do my part in this effort to support Small Business in this country!

Ken Jones is a friend whose gift for sharing his personal walk with God and Salvation is astounding. If you are looking for that perfect gift that will give eternally I suggest you check out …

www.aprodigalreturn.com

… and get these two books. They will encourage, teach and change a life!

Merry Christmas Loves! 

 

… but even if He doesn’t … A Wordy Wednesday … Day 17

I wasn’t going to write this week … I decided to relax after a very busy two week schedule and before Thanksgiving cooking commenced this evening! 

But God … He had a different plan.

Focus

I was working around the kitchen this morning, go figure and God brought this thought … I posted it as my Facebook status and then realized that God meant for me to say more about it.

 ”Good morning, Loves! On this Thanksgiving Eve God gave to me, this thought … no matter how hard my life has been, how difficult my childhood or upbringing … no matter what or who I have lost in this life … It has all resulted in this very (fleeting) moment where I am blessed and can be grateful for everyone and everything that has brought me to this point in my Blessed Life! So if you’ve had hardships; even if you are experiencing those hardships right this minute there is a place in Gratitude that you can find that says … Thank you, LORD … for bringing me here … right where I am supposed to be; with You, living and loving and growing in this my life … My Blessed Life!”

 Then He placed in me these scripture verses …

Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego replied to him, “King Nebuchadnezzar, we do not need to defend ourselves before you in this matter. If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to deliver us from it, and he will deliver us from Your Majesty’s hand. But even if he does not, we want you to know, Your Majesty, that we will not serve your gods or worship the image of gold you have set up.” – Daniel 3:16-18

This is part of the story about Daniel and the three Hebrew Children … the king had erected a statue of himself and demanded that the people worship it when they heard certain music. The boys … never giving in to the world of the king, refused and were subsequently thrown into the fires, the boys stood firm in their belief of God. They told the king that their God would rescue them and they went further, proving their loyalty only to God; they told the king that even if God chose NOT to rescue them they would only bow to their God!

Isn’t this amazing … and we face this question in our lives daily. Let’s face it, in our lives we are not faced with the terrible impending doom these four Hebrew boys faced (and they were boys!). However, we are faced, each day, with the choice to be grateful for what we have; and whether or not we are going to stand firm in faith, no matter what horrors this life presents.

Faith, for me these days, is something of God’s. I realize it is not my faith; even though I was given a mustard seed right along with the rest of humanity, it remains God’s faith … it remains God’s harvest … however, it remains my responsibility to be the good ground for this harvest to come to bloom! And that takes work and obedience to His Word.

Faith for me, today, looks like the status I was given this morning …

I’ve had many difficulties in life, who hasn’t? I have been in a place where I looked at the caios spinning and realized it was me and I had no tools to get off the carosel! I didn’t know better than what the world was telling me, so I spun and spun!

Today, I can, with great gratitude, say that I nolonger reside there. Today I can describe my life as “My Blessed Life” … I am where God has guided me … but there is more to it than that!

I am exactly where I am supposed to be right this moment, gratefully writing this post I was compelled to share; whether or not another stumbles by and reads this I remain obedient to the call on this blessed life! I am here because of all of that caios … all of those hardships endured … they were necessary for me to be the Me He Created!

Yes! On this Thanksgiving Eve 2011, I can honestly say (today) that (today) I am grateful for each and every person and event that has lead me to this moment. Today I know that whatever circumstances the world throws out at me that my Father Creator is going to rescue me … and even if He doesn’t … I am assured that I stand firm in the faith that Father God gave me, and I stand with God, and I will not worship anyone or anything above Him!

Is there a circumstance you’ve endured but feel you were not rescued? Take a look, you’re still here, reading this; you were rescued! You survived to be here and refined for this moment. I, for one am grateful that whatever your troubles you’ve made it here so that God could share this with you!

It’s the season to be Thankful … we here in America take a day (a four day weekend, now) to celebrate all we have to be thankful for … can you be thankful this moment for who you have become, what you have and where you are?

What are you thankful for today? Whatever it is, be thankful, too, for all those things and people along the way; no matter how or what, that brought you to this moment, and thank God for it.

This type of gratitude, for me, is freeing! Be free with me!

Blessings Loves!

¯`•´¯)……………`•.,(¯`•´¯)……….★
`•.,(¯`•´¯)……….★
(¯`•´¯).•´(¯`•´¯) HAPPY THANKSGIVING !!!
..` •.•´(¯`•´¯)…..★`•.,(¯`•´¯)……….★

 

Grow … Good Ground and Day 16

Five Minute Friday … where we meet and share a quick visit and our hearts in a bold and unedited way …

no masks, no facades, just what happens when a heart meets the keyboard without reservation …and I’m hitting the timer in the wee hours of the morn! (first time I was up and got the e-mail) :) Follow the link at the end and join us … this is where writing truly reveals the writer.

GROW … Go!

Breaking through Earth's Crust

When I typically think of grow(ing) I think of children … specifically my children, obviously. Oh and did they grow; into men. I guess I never truly thought about that when they were running in the sun and jumping puddles in canvas sneakers.

Now when I think of grow(ing) it is a different grow … it’s a growth of the Spirit … the growth of a relationship with God. One where my entire family is planted to grow in the Garden of God‘s Eden. What He would have us grow into and what fruit we would produce.

And then I think about the parable of the sower and I hear His voice asking the questions …

Where has My seed landed today Girl … are you good ground? Are you allowing My Word to grow within you, stretching your very spirit, blooming into the flower I made you to be …

Basking in the Sund

He has a sweet way of making the hard ground of my heart soft and pliable; suitable for cultivating the seed of His Word within me … today I am pliable … today I will strive to feed the soil of this heart with time with God in His Word, in Praise and Worship … in His very presence …

Walking in the cool of the morning with Him … a closer walk than yesterday!

STOP …

pictures added after the 5! Blessings Loves!